We asked the women attending our session what issues they are most interested in and concerned with related to being a woman in the workplace. We used their answers to craft a curriculum that was relevant, thought provoking, and engaging.
Be Bold for Change
International Women’s Day is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.
This day has been recognized since the early 1900s and gives humans everywhere the opportunity to focus on unity, celebration, and action. This year’s theme—Be Bold for Change—is a critical push to work towards purposeful collaboration. Collaboration that will challenge unconscious bias, encourage women and girls to go after the highest levels of their goals, and create a more inclusive culture for all.
5 ways to stay above the political fray at work
"White House" by HarshLight is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
“This has been an exhausting, stressful, and sometimes downright weird election for all of us.”
When President Obama spoke these words on November 8th, it felt like the one thing that the entire country could agree upon. Regardless of party affiliation, we could not wait for the turmoil of the divisive election season to be past us. There was hope on the horizon.
President Obama was right- the sun did rise the next morning. But here we are, almost four months later, and the dust still has not settled. Things feel even more tense than before. We are becoming even quicker to assume what is happening in someone else’s mind or heart, and if or why they stand a certain way on an issue (political or otherwise), all based on (how we assume that) they voted.
This is especially true for women’s issues, which were so overtly immersed in every aspect of the 2016 election that it now feels like women themselves are the political issue.
If we aren’t careful, we will take these assumptions, emotions, and opinions into the workplace, where gender equality is not a new fight. The conversation around gender equality at work cannot be seen as a product of the 2016 election cycle, because it isn’t. To lump women’s issues in the workplace with a political mess is unfair, because it silences the many rational voices that have been advancing this issue and the women it affects for decades, even centuries.
Now more than ever it is important that we separate gender equality from any party affiliation, and to remember that when women advance professionally that we all benefit. Gender inequality at work is not political, it is factual. The pay gap is real. Women are disadvantaged in corporate America as it relates to promotions and have less access to senior leadership. We are increasingly underrepresented along the corporate pipeline, and women of color are least represented of all.
Image from the 2016 Women in the Workplace Report. We recommend you read it!
The best way to separate the fight for gender equality in the workplace from any other political fight is to keep politics out of the professional setting at all cost. It is, after all, the most basic etiquette rule: Don’t discuss sex, religion, or politics. But this is 2017. All etiquette has gone out of the window, and people are fighting about politics with no holds barred with their colleagues, friends and family, and any stranger on the internet that will engage.
If you, like me, are deeply addicted to checking news sites and feel passionately about many political issues our country is facing, it is important to take a step back for your professional safety (and sanity). Here are a few of the ways that have been helpful for me over the past four months.
Five Ways Remain Calm, Cool, and Collected in Today’s Political Climate
(so we can focus on closing the wage gap and fighting for gender quality in the workplace)
Get involved outside of work. If you feel strongly about something, take action. Get involved on a local level, give to an organization that is advancing your cause, or write to your elected officials. This will empower you and fulfill you, which will leave you less likely to complain about the things you can’t change.
Let others know if they are crossing a line (professionally). If you are in a conversation at work that turns political, it is okay to let the person you are talking to know that now isn’t the time. If you don’t want the conversation to continue it is well within your rights to say so. If someone begins to cross the line in political argument territory, simply tell them that you prefer not to discuss politics at work. It’s a professional, straight to the point comment that will allow you to veer the conversation in a new direction.
Take digital breaks. If reading the news makes you sweat and audibly curse, it’s best not to read it at work. Turn off the news alerts on your phone, and trust that one of your coworkers will tell you if something that truly cannot wait happens. If you aren’t reading it, you are less likely to talk about it.
Remember that we all come to work with a different worldview. We all come to the table with different life experiences behind us. Actively remember this on a daily basis, especially when you are in a challenging conversation that could become frustrating. Then, read #5:
Take a deep breath, walk away, and carefully consider if it’s worth it. If things escalate, simply take a deep breath, remove yourself from the conversation, and think about it for a bit. Did someone ignore your request to change the subject from politics and say something offensive? If so, it is probably worth your time and reputation to alert the appropriate person in your office hierarchy. If someone simply expressed an opinion that you strongly disagree with, but meant you no harm, it probably isn’t. Although, it might be worth sending them a nice email reiterating point #2.
That’s it. It’s all I’ve got to get me through this strange political climate. As a woman that makes her living by empowering women at work, it is extremely important to me that we keep the fight for gender equality at work out of the political fight.
If you are interested in focusing on the positive changes that your women’s initiative can make now to help close the equality gap, let’s talk. There’s a lot we can do if we work together!
He Said, She Said: “Pretty Little Girl”
Many times when we talk about sexism, we talk about the subtle versions of it—the one’s where you walk away wondering, “was that…?” But in Julie’s case, there is no room to question, and we commend her for not only recognizing it immediately, but responding in a way that gave the offender pause. Julie, we can’t thank you enough for your passion for equality and your ability to demand the respect you deserve. Keep fighting the good fight.
Why Your Resolution “Failure” is an Opportunity for True Success
Photo by Mizuno K
New Year’s resolutions have been around for awhile. 4,000 years, to be specific. Ever since the Babylonians started making promises to their gods in exchange for a favorable year, we have been making deals with ourselves that in the new year we will be different- that we will be “better”. We have had 4,000 years to get really good at making New Year’s resolutions, and still only about 8% of us actually stick to them.
In fact, we are only three days into the second month of this “new year” and already I have heard several friends say that they have “given up”. I even had a friend describe herself as a “complete failure” because she hadn’t kept her resolution to go to the gym four times a week so far this year.
Sure, not achieving a goal that you have set for yourself is frustrating, and it’s natural to feel dejected. Just like anytime we are feeling like we have failed, we have a choice: we can let the feeling of failure overcome us and become a part of who we are, or we can objectively examine our situation and use it as yet another opportunity for self improvement.
If you find yourself feeling like you have failed on your quest for self-improvement in 2017, I would encourage you to ask yourself these few questions:
Why did I “fail”?
Let’s talk about the friend I mentioned earlier that feels like a “complete failure” just weeks into the new year. I asked her why she thought she had “failed” and she responded that she had only made it to the gym four times in a week once so far. At the time, she only had three weeks of data (out of the 52 that make up a year). When I reminded her that she still had 49 weeks to improve her score, it didn’t seem to help at all. She had already resolved herself to be a “complete failure” just three weeks in.
So, I tried another approach. I began to ask her, as I suggest that you do with yourself, what she had been doing over those three weeks. It turns out that things had really picked up at work in the new year (as they often do) and she had been working 11 hour days. On top of that, she had also been sick with a terrible cold. She didn’t feel as though she could take off work, so she was exhausted when she got home from work and opted for sleep rather than early morning workouts.
In other words, she absolutely hadn’t “failed” at anything. At all.
Is what I resolved to do something that will actually make me “better”?
At the end of December, Bustle surveyed 822 millennials (97% of which identified as female) how they feel about New Year’s resolutions. The results showed that millennial women overwhelmingly focus their resolutions in two areas: to lose weight and exercise more, and to become a better, happier person.
Based on my experience as a woman for the 29.5 years I’ve been alive, I can say with certainty that many women equate the ideas of losing weight to becoming a better, happier person. And while I am a proponent of exercise for many reasons, I also believe strongly that the association between “thinness” and “happiness” is one of the biggest issues plaguing women today.
So, ask yourself- is what you resolved something that will actually make you “better”? If your reasoning behind exercising more or focusing on eating healthy foods is to improve your mood, sleep, or overall quality of life, then yes- that counts as “better”. But if all you want is to fit into smaller jeans, I can tell you from personal experience that you will never be good enough.
Would you make that resolution for your best friend?
Perhaps the most powerful statistic that came from Bustle’s survey was the answer to their question: “What New Year’s resolution would you make for your best friend?”
Source: Bustle
Ask yourself this same question. Was what you resolved for your friend the same thing you resolved for yourself? Was it even in the same “resolution family”? According to Bustle, only two women of the 822 surveyed reported that they would want their friend to lose weight in 2017. In fact, most women want their friends to practice self care, be kinder to themselves, to go after what they want at work, and to stand up for themselves.
New research tells us that women often fight for others harder than they do themselves at work. We also know how much easier it can be to tell our friends they are special, beautiful, smart, and strong than it is to tell ourselves those same things.
But isn’t that what New Year’s resolutions are all about? Making ourselves better? If your resolution for your friend is kinder than the one you have for yourself, it might be time to change your thinking. You haven’t failed because you didn’t keep your resolution. You have only failed by choosing the wrong resolution at the beginning.
It’s no longer January 1- who cares? Now is as good a time as any to resolve to be better. Be better to yourself, kinder to yourself, and more forgiving with yourself. New year, new you- and you deserve it.
If you’re interested in spreading confidence and self-love with the women you work with, let us know.
Goal: Make Time My Friend Again
Over the past year, I have consistently felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to tackle in a day. It has been as though each day suspiciously gets 5 minutes shorter, and I am unable to finish my perpetual to-do list.This is no way to live.
So I am trying to identify some ways to better manage my time—a skill that I feel like I once had, but has now escaped me as my plate has become more full. This is not a guide on how to do it right, but rather, a look into my attempts at course correcting.
What IS a vision board, anyway?
It has come to my attention that Saturday, January 14th is “National Vision Board Day”. Like most other nationally recognized “Days”, I don’t really care how or why vision boards have their own day. Like National Dog Day, National Donut Day, or National Sibling Day, I will blindly celebrate without question, and encourage my friends to do the same.
Children, Inc.
He Said, She Said: “I Think We Pay You Enough”
This story highlights so many of the challenges (and disappointments) that come up time and time again in our workshops—a lack of awareness of what is offensive, inappropriate, and even illegal. I am so impressed by this woman and her ability to call out her boss, with whom she had a great relationship, to point out the fact that she was being treated differently based on her gender. Bringing this awareness to the forefront of someone’s mind is a huge step in the right direction toward equality. I also know that the practice of demanding to be respected and treated equally is just that—a practice. One we can and should all continue to work on, push for, and remember each and every day.
He Said, She Said: Frankie’s Story, On the Set
Through our new blog series, He Said, She Said, we’ll be telling your stories. We aim to highlight the (mostly) unintentionally biased language that is often used in the workplace towards women. These are real stories from professional women about their everyday working relationships with their male counterparts.
6 Life Lessons Learned From Leslie Jones’ Success Story
“I’m not perfect, but I’m starting to get comfortable, like a sweater you want to wear all the time.” — Leslie Jones
If the name Leslie Jones doesn’t ring a bell, don’t think twice before checking out the newest Ghostbusters movie which debuted in July, a comical film from ‘98 called Wrongfully Accused, or even better — take a reach into her archives on Saturday Night Live to find Jones at her best, making laughter happen.
However, life isn’t always so laughable as an African-American woman navigating a rather-segregated, predominantly-male career field. Ms. Jones never ceases to inspire us with her blustering courage and vibrant originality, revealing how being a badass with passion can get us places in life.
1. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
“People get hung up on writing smart shit. To me, it’s more about performance.” — Leslie Jones
Of course it’s important to know the material before presenting or performing, but often times we become hyper-concerned with having the hardest-hitting line or most intelligent response. In reality, confidence is key and an honest remark can go a long way. If we believe in what we say, others will be compelled to jump on board too.
As comedian Marc Maron said in an article featured in The New Yorker, “She has a presence, when you see her live, that is extremely rare and honestly, it has very little to do with what she’s saying. The first time I saw her, I was blown away, and yet I couldn’t tell you a single one of her jokes.”
2. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
To achieve our dreams, we must let go of our fears and whatever is holding us back. Believe it, feel it, live it and SPEAK UP. Ask for help when necessary, the worst they can say is no (and many times, they won’t).
A fellow ‘80s comic who was far beyond Jones’ comedic status when they were both touring in the late in the decade, Chris Rock, saw her perform live again in 2012 after her initial impression nearly 30-years before.
As recorded in Ready For Prime Time, Rock told Jones after her show, “You were always funny, but you’re at a new level now.”
Jones boldly and with direction responded, “You’re right,” she said. “But I’m not gonna really make it unless someone like you puts me on.”
Rock appreciated her audacity and took a chance on Jones, adding her to his list of funny people. Soon after, Jones’ name began to fill the comedy scene of Los Angeles.
3. Know your audience.
What sells one person may turn another away. It helps to feel out the audience before making bold propositions. Seek to understand their personal values and mentalities. Modify your tone and argument accordingly, then speak with mindfulness and purpose.
“I can look into a person’s eyes for one second and go, ‘Don’t fuck with him — that’s somebody who won’t get over what you’re about to say’,” Jones told Andrew Marantz.
4. The path to success is not always linear.
Just after her decision to leave college and pursue comedy, Jones ran into a writer’s block and found herself struggling to develop new sets. After pondering friendly advice, Jones daringly took a 6-year leave from performing. In the meantime, she took up work as a cook, a cashier, and as a waitress.
“I was the funniest waitress Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles ever had,” she said in an interview with Marantz. “Customers would be, like, ‘Didn’t I just see you on BET?’ I’d be, like, ‘Yep. Breast and a wing or leg and a thigh?’”
Sometimes straying from the beaten path can help us gain other practical life experiences. In whatever we do, we will find lessons within the journey. Jones’ hiatus gave her time to experience life from a new perspective and develop literature from those experiences. Eventually, her divergent path enriched her career by bringing her to a new opportunity with BET’s “Comic View”.
Life’s a journey — embrace every opportunity with an open mind.
5. Don’t let them steal your sunshine.
After the premier of Ghostbusters in July, Jones was faced with extreme hate tweets which pushed her to leave the Twitter-verse. Online trolls sent racist comments along with pornographic images and heartless memes as described in The New York Times.
“You have to hate yourself to put out that type of hate,” Jones tweeted in response to the harassment. “I mean on my worst day I can’t think of this type of hate to put out.”
Jones has experienced many racist and sexist slurs for the better part of her career. In late July, Entertainment Weekly reported Jones’ strive for peace in the face of negativity — choosing to send out love and positivity with “hug someone”:
“Hurting people hurt people. Most of these people I don’t think they believe in the stuff they say. It’s just a lot of hurt, hug someone. We have to start there. So I won’t answer the trolls with hate anymore just love. And then block and report they ass lol. Won’t do hate anymore.”
6. Love always; love yourself.
Jones told The New Yorker that though she still has extended family in Memphis, her mother, father, and brother all died within the past few years.
“When death touches you that close, you say to yourself, ‘It’s time to start liking who the fu** you are,’ ” she said. “I’m not perfect, but I’m starting to get comfortable, like a sweater you want to wear all the time.”
After 25-years of building her confidence and career, Jones has made it through every trial and tribulation by staying true to herself, believing in her dreams and taking badass, courageous leaps which opened doors leading to her undying vision of success.
Whatever we decide to be, let us be that well. Let us follow our dreams, be audacious, free our spirits and define ourselves.
8 Things You Never Knew About Michelle Obama That Will Awe You
"Michelle Obama" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
When great things come to an end, we tend to gain a deeper and clearer sense of appreciation than ever had before. With the 2016 election just around the corner and who knows what to follow, here’s our invitation to take a moment and give a much-deserved round of applause (and new found respect) to our down-right inspirational First Lady.
Not just our First Lady – A young mother, social service hero & private sector lawyer.
The following are 8 reasons to be awed by Mrs. Obama -
1. Michelle (and her older brother) skipped the 2nd grade.
Michelle was born into a Chicagoland family and raised with value placed on education. By the 6th grade, Michelle enrolled in a gifted student program and began taking advanced French & Biology courses.
2. Michelle was Barack’s mentor while he was a summer intern at the Chicago office of the law firm Sidley Austin.
He often expressed his adoration for her while she flattered him with not a glance in return, as she thought it would be inappropriate in their work setting. It wasn’t long before Michelle relented and Barack turned this hot mamma into Mrs. Obama. Two years post-internship, they were pronounced husband and wife.
3. First Lady, Second Degree.
Not only was she the first African-American first lady upon Obama’s Election Day victory in 2008, she also became the third ever with a post-graduate degree.
4. TWO Ivy League degrees – let me restate that. TWICE the Ivy League, TWICE the degree.
Mrs. Obama attended Princeton University (like her older brother), graduating cum laude in 1985, and went on to earn a degree from Harvard Law School in 1988.
5. Michelle wasn’t always sold on the idea of Barack becoming president.
Having two young daughters, Malia born in ’98 and Sasha in ’01, Michelle often had to juggle the demands of motherhood and the working-woman life while Barack was away in Springfield (IL – the capital) tending to business. When Barack decided to enter the presidential race shortly after, Michelle had concerns that it may take away from family time and jeopardize their daughters’ experiences early in life.
“When I get up and work out, I'm working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It's just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.”
6. Once she realized the campaign could be of advantage to their family and benefit of the nation, Michelle jumped on board and sought to tie her own agendas to her husband’s larger legislative goals.
"My first priority will always be to make sure that our girls are healthy and grounded," Michelle said. "Then I want to help other families get the support they need, not just to survive, but to thrive."
It was Michelle who brought forth motives to support military families and encouraged healthy eating across the nation, in efforts to solve the epidemic of childhood obesity. In her valiant surges, our fine First Lady co-founded the Joining Forces program to expand educational and employment options for veterans and to raise awareness about the difficulties plaguing military families. Meanwhile, launching the Let’s Move! Initiative to promote healthy eating and physical activity. Michelle also established the first community-service program at the University of Chicago as Dean of Student services before embarking on the campaign trail.
7. She's best mates with Prince Harry.
Both are committed to making us confront uncomfortable truths about the world (while providing genius insights and solutions) in order to make our planet a better place to live, and boy do they do the job well.
8. She’s 52. She looks incredible.
“Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own "to do" list.”
Michelle continues to motivate us as women, as Americans, as human-beings.
“You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world's problems at once but don't ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.”
Sources:
http://www.biography.com/people/michelle-obama-307592
http://www.history.com/topics/first-ladies/michelle-obama
http://thetab.com/us/2016/06/02/michelle-obama-role-model-america-needs-9218
http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/545340/and-here-s-why-michelle-obama-is-a-total-inspiration.html
The workshops are coming! The workshops are coming!
I have a secret to tell you.
When you start a company, there are an overwhelming number of decisions to be made. And somehow… even the ones that seem simple leave you unsure. We have made a lot of changes to Gild since we began a year and a half ago. Some have been wins, some… not so much.
But every step of the way, we have learned. We learned some basics about what our customers like and what they don’t like, and we learned that sometimes customers can be tricky. We learned that sometimes being the first female team to go through an accelerator can have its unique challenges.
But more importantly, after crafting with over 1,300 women, we learned that we are not alone in those challenges.
And while that is comforting, it is also disturbing. Hearing the stories of the challenges women face in the workplace made us ask ourselves:
What can we do to help?
With that question, we made the first decision for the business that truly felt like a no-brainer. Gild Collective now offers creative workshops focused on women’s leadership in the workplace.
We’re coming into offices (or offsites!) and guiding groups through discussion and exercises that focus on the issues that deserve exploration and action:
- Building confidence
- Fostering mentorships & relationships
- Overcoming unjust moments
Each workshop ends with a creative project that not only serves as a bonding experience, but also gives each participant a takeaway that they can wear or display to remind them to live and lead with greater confidence and passion.
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So that’s it, the workshops have arrived! If you think your organization could benefit from a little heart to heart on women’s empowerment, reach out. We’d love to work with you. And now, I shall leave you with some videos detailing even more of the who, what, why, where, how of it all.
Remember, you are amazing. Go take on the world!
What I'm Reading: The Confidence Effect
I bought this book because confidence has always been one of the key components to the Gild mission. From day one, we knew we wanted to encourage confidence in women through creativity and community. And now, as we continue to make changes to our business, instilling confidence in women–especially those in the workplace–is always top of mind. It’s something I consistently struggle with, even as I work to help others feel like they can take on the world.
“I’d like my crayons back, please.”
Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the ‘creative bug’ is just a wee voice telling you, ‘I’d like my crayons back, please.’
Using creativity for good
Why I Work Out, Even When I am "Way too Busy"
Gild Collective Founder Spotlight: Rachel
Hi, I’m Rachel, and I am SO excited to meet you!
I am the Chief Creative Officer at GILD Collective, which means that I have the best job on earth: designing the projects! It is literally my DUTY to scour Pinterest, home decor and DIY blogs, and online craft supply retailers until I have found the inspiration I need to create an awesome project that you can complete at a GILD party. Then, I actually get to do the projects, usually at least a few times a piece! First I have to test them, and then we have to photograph the step by step photos and take videos (my least favorite part- we all think our voice sounds strange played back, right?!). It’s all a dream come true, really, and I’m pretty thankful!
So, how did I get here? The path was a little twisted, to say the least…
I have spent the last 28 years chasing fulfillment. I was born and raised in Cincinnati, where I was lucky enough to live in several amazing neighborhoods and attend one of the best high schools in the country. No matter where I went or what I did, I never felt like I “fit” anywhere: I wasn’t particularly athletic, I wasn’t the smartest person in class, and I was too afraid to show my creativity.
Thinking that a change of scenery was my answer, I escaped to college in northeast Ohio. While I grew tremendously in college, I never found a way to fully engage. When I graduated, I realized that I had spent four years studying for a career (fashion merchandising) that I had no real desire to go into. I was frustrated.
I took my “change of scenery” theory to an extreme after graduation when I moved to New Zealand, totally on my own, on a 12 month working holiday visa. Professionally speaking, I did not find my calling on the other side of the world. Personally, I learned what would become the most influential lesson of my life thus far: I don’t have to have everything figured out in order to take huge risks. Those risks often take you closer to where you are meant to go, so embrace them.
For the five years (holy crap!!!) since I returned from New Zealand, I have continued to chase the fulfillment I had been seeking my whole life. Two nephews, two pets, a master’s degree (plus some amazing friends), and a fiancė later, I was back in Cincinnati working for a small college. I advised and coached (mainly) female students on achieving their success, and I loved it. There is nothing better than seeing one of your students achieve something they didn’t think was possible.
Then, everything changed. I started to spend my evenings and weekends hard at work creating things for my wedding: signage, centerpieces, and personalized decor. Other people marveled at my “patience” for doing everything myself, which truly confused me. It was not a burden to be doing these things. In fact, I was happier than I ever had been. I was creating something, and for the first time in my life, I was not afraid of what other people might think. I had finally found my creative confidence, through all of my formative and diverse life experiences.
When the wedding was over, I experienced a bit of a post-wedding sadness that I couldn’t quite shake. It was not over the passing of the day itself. Rather, it was the lack of necessity to keep creating things. I could not go back to a life where I wasn’t creative. I knew I would never be fulfilled without it. So, I made other excuses to exercise the left side of the brain: I opened an Etsy shop and began a DIY event design business.
When it became time to leave my job at the college, the most amazing thing happened: I knew exactly what I wanted to do next. I knew exactly what I needed to find the fulfillment I had been looking for for 28 years. I needed to combine my passion and need to create with the pure joy I found by inspiring women to be their most confident selves. And thanks to my experience in New Zealand, I was not afraid to take a huge risk.
Thus, GILD Collective was born.
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