Identity and Boundaries: A different type of balance for working women without children

exhausted woman

Photo by Marcus Aurelius via Pexels

Whether you are in the camp of “the pandemic is over!” or anxiously awaiting what curveball the next wave of cases will bring, we can all agree that over the past 2+ years we (and our organizations) have developed some unhealthy habits. 

In past posts, we’ve explored many of these habits and unrealistic expectations that have led to burnout and women stepping back from the workforce. While we’ve been mindful to note that this applies to working women both with and without kids, we’ll be the first to acknowledge that much of the press we’ve seen in this space has been around working mothers.

In a recent Elle article focused on working women without children, we see the more raw side of the experience of women who have pushed themselves to the brink when it comes to “picking up the slack” where mothers have left the workforce. Countless women share their stories of exhaustion to the point of passing out on video calls, ending up in the hospital, or simply losing any semblance of separation between “work” and “life.”

While some may argue that working long hours and overextending has been a choice, the subtle pressure that women without children have faced can’t be discounted. One woman in the article shared, “I was working from home and without kids, so there was an assumption ...that I would always be available. What else would I be doing?” Not only does this further assume that a person doesn’t have any caregiving responsibilities outside of children (ex. for an aging parent) but also assumes that they don’t have any identity beyond their work. 

Over time, these assumptions and expectations can become internalized to the point where constant work feels like it is indeed one’s identity. 

As the home-bound nature of work eases for many organizations, it’s critical that we break these habits. One way we encourage this is by allowing for a reset at any point—it is not too late to re-evaluate ways of working and collaborative overload. We suggest referring back to our two part post on reducing collaborative overload, first defining why and second, stopping the cycle

As you review these concrete steps to take, I leave you with this reminder that we all seem to need from time to time: 

Saying no and setting boundaries allows you to be your best, most productive, most efficient self. It allows you to add value where it is most beneficial while still being a whole person, with a dynamic identity that goes well beyond your role or your status as a caregiver.